92879885-Charlotte-Lamb-Desire by Lamb Charlotte

Author:Lamb, Charlotte [Lamb, Charlotte]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SEVEN

One morning when she got up she had that weird floating

feeling again. She had had it once or twice early in her pregnancy

and it had gone away. Now it was back. It stayed this time. She

had lost her appetite. She was losing weight rather than gaining

it, and her face was pale all the time. She wasn't sure if she was

imagining it, but she knew she was not imagining the dizziness

that came over her sometimes. She would bend over the filing

cabinet at work and feel the room swim around her. Her vision

would cloud. She would straighten, her ears singing with the beat

of her own blood, and hang on to the edge of the metal drawer

she was searching through, fighting off a sick faintness that only

ebbed after a few minutes.

Natasha had fainted quite often in her teens. Some people

never faint at all. Others do it at the drop of a hat. Natasha hated

the feeling. She recognized it now, the threat of a loss of

consciousness, the clouding of her sight and mind. There was

something terrifying about feeling you were going to faint.

Whenever she went to a dentist she always preferred to have a

local anesthetic rather than gas—the idea of losing awareness

was horrifying to her.

When it happened in Nigel's office he was very concerned.

"Sit down. What's wrong? You're deathly white. “What is it?" he

asked, pushing her into a chair.

She put her head down between her knees, shaking, and it was

a minute or two before she was able to sit up again. "You're ill,"

Nigel said nervously. You must see a doctor."

"I will," Natasha agreed, but with reservation. She would only

do that if she had to, and she hoped this strange sensation was

going to pass as quickly as it had come.

Nigel have her a funny look. "Shouldn't you be... getting a bit

fatter?" he asked with an embarrassed expression.

"Not yet," Natasha told him, mentally crossing her fingers.

She had no idea whether she should or not, but she knew she was

losing weight although she hadn't weighed herself. Her clothes

were looser on her than they had been. She told herself that that

was because she wasn't eating. She was skipping meals, not

because she was dieting but because she often couldn't face the

thought of food. The very idea of it made her want to throw up.

"Look, I'll ring a doctor," Nigel said anxiously.

"No, don't bother. I'll see mine tonight."

"You will?" he stressed, staring at her.

"You're fussing, Nigel," Natasha said, forcing a smile.

"I'm worried about you," he said. "You just don't look well."

"I'm fine," she said, but as she went home on the bus that

evening she felt so terrible she thought she would pass out there

and then. Luckily it was Saturday next day. She wouldn't have to

force herself to get up at seven in order to rush to work. She

could take it easy all day. She had never realized what a hectic

pace she had to keep up all day until now. She had to leave for

the office at just after eighty-thirty and she didn't get home again

until getting on for seven, by which time she was often so tired

and sick she couldn't eat even if she felt hungry.

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